3-Week-Old

You're getting used to your newborn's routines and personality, and he's getting to know who you are, too. The world a foot or two beyond his field of vision is still largely a blur, although your face is becoming familiar. He also recognizes you by your particular scent and your voice.

Every baby has a unique temperament. Some are placid and agreeable, while others are more sensitive to changes in temperature, sound, or light. Your own baby's preferences will grow clearer to you as the weeks go on. For now, you can't blame yourself for not yet understanding his wants and needs perfectly. It takes time.

One thing all babies have in common is that they communicate with you by crying. Sometime in the first month, you'll begin to hear another kind of sound. That's when most babies find their voices. When your baby is calm and alert, you may notice him say a little "ooh" or "aah" when he sees you or hears you approaching.

How your baby's growing
Babies love and need to suck, so don't discourage it. In fact, you may have discovered that a pacifier works wonders in helping your baby calm down.

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends using pacifiers at nap time and bedtime, based on evidence that using a pacifier may reduce the risk of SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome). When the binky or your finger isn't around, your baby may even be able to find her thumb or fingers to soothe herself.

• Learn more fascinating facts about your 3-week-old's development.

Your life: Bonding

Some moms talk about feeling an instantaneous, consuming love right from the beginning. That's become the prevailing image of what "bonding" is supposed to be like. But bonding isn't a single, magic delivery-room moment. For more than half of new mothers, feeling connected takes a bit longer — and for good reason.

Birth, delivery, and recovery can be taxing physical experiences, especially if there are complications. If you've never spent a lot of time around babies, let alone been completely responsible for taking care of one, anxiety and worry about doing everything right can intrude, too. Your relationship with your child is not so different from your other relationships — it can take time and many interactions for those feelings of attachment to develop and ripen.
So no need to feel guilty if you look at your long-awaited baby and feel like you're staring at a little stranger. In a sense she is. Give it time and eventually you won't be able to imagine life without her.

If after several weeks, however, feelings of aloofness, or even resentment, continue, you could be suffering from postpartum depression. Ten percent of new moms suffer from this form of depression, triggered largely by hormonal changes after delivery. In addition to prolonged feelings of ambivalence about motherhood, accompanying symptoms include insomnia, anxiety, changes in appetite, and thoughts of harming yourself of your baby.

Postpartum depression has nothing to do with your fitness as a mom and everything to do with biochemical changes you have little control over. Tell your ob-gyn or midwife without waiting until your postpartum checkup. The sooner you seek help, the sooner you'll feel much better.

3 questions about: Colic

What is it?
Colic is extended frantic crying in an otherwise healthy infant. It's thought to affect between 10 and 25 percent of babies under 3 months of age. Some doctors define it by the rule of threes: three hours of crying at a time, at least three times a week, for at least three weeks — usually starting between the third and sixth week of life. Colic usually disappears around the third month.

What causes colic?
No one's sure. Some people theorize it's due to a baby's immature digestive system. Others believe the cause may be a still-developing nervous system or a baby's temperament that allows her to be easily overstimulated. Although colic can make parents feel helpless and guilty, you can't cause colic, and it's not a sign of a long-term problem.

What can I do about it?
Try to create a calming environment that mimics what your baby's life was like in your uterus: snug, swingy, and calming. Swaddle your baby firmly in a blanket. Rock her in your arms or in a rocking cradle. Some colicky babies are soothed by loud redundant sounds, such as a vacuum, dishwasher, or "white noise" machine, all of which probably sound reminiscent of your internal organs from the inside. Or combine sound and motion by taking a car ride. Other ideas: a warm bath, a warm hot-water bottle placed on your baby's stomach (make sure the temperature is comfortable on her skin), a pacifier.